I was otherwise occupied during American Idol's regular airing time Wednesday, aware that my DVR was capturing the action from Aspen, Colorado. My heart sank, though, when I glanced at Twitter on my way home. My fellow Idol trackers were suffering — the phrase "worst show ever" popped up on an alarming number of feeds. The night's brightest possibilities (my favorites were the rough crystal hippie chick Haley Smith and the barely-seen soulman Devan Jones) still didn't blow minds; the joke contestants, like the air guitar wielding "Magic Cyclops," earned only the weakest of snickers.

The week's two other episodoes, one from San Diego and the other from Galveston-or-Houston (it was confusing! They were at Space City AND the seashore!), offered even less interest beyond a few sob stories, topped by that of a sweet Christian folkie who'd been born without visible ears. None of the auditions seemed destined for Youtube notoriety, much less immortality.

A middling week is not what Idol needs right now. Pundits have noted that the show's ratings have taken a hit, though it remains television's most watched series. My colleague Linda Holmes noted on the Monkey See blog that Idol is no longer a supernova, and speculated that bland judging, an aging audience, and narrowly cast contestants like 2011's triumphant country boy Scotty McCreery might be to blame.

Well, I have a fix — and it's radical surgery....

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